Final Blog

For my final blog, I have chosen to discuss two examples of order and three examples of chaos that most accurately describe how my definitions of order and chaos have evolved and expanded from the Order & Chaos class. Although my definition of order and chaos relying heavily on each other to actually exist as themselves has not changed, it has been reinforced by the examples we selected on the first day of class and by the reading assignments throughout the term. I have chosen to elaborate on tidiness when cleaning a room, yelling from a military leader, the clutter of NYC, the insanity of college life, and the blatant disobedience from Massachusetts drivers.

First of all, one of my least favorite activities is cleaning my room. When my room is "a pig sty" as my mom likes to call it, I know exactly where everything is. After cleaning my room, I have no idea where anything is, but nothing is where I would ordinarily put it, thus creating absolute chaos out of the order that I have been forced to comply with. For example, Job tried so hard to be good and ordered, that everything just went the wrong way and he eventually gave up and when he stpped trying to be good, things eventually worked out for him.

The second example I chose, orders being screamed from an authoritarians mouth, is an example of forcing order upon people by use of chaotic methods. I think we can all agree that yelling and screaming is not generally filed under the "order" category when we hear it, but in this case, the chaos has created order by pressuring others into being obedient. An example wpuld be from George Orwell's 1984, when Winston has chaotic thoughts firing through his brain, Big Brother is always there to put his thoughts in order via scare tactics.

Next, I chose to discuss the clutter of NYC. I think it is interesting that NYC was so carefully organized into little blocks and boroughs, yet it is always one of the most chaotic places in the country. Also, the city is divided into boroughs like Queens, the Bronx, and Manhattan, which may be physically ordered, yet the boroughs behave like sports teams and form rivalries against each other which absolutely creates chaos. This is similar to Blade Runner's replicas vs. humans dilemma. The main group created two separate "pawns" who eventually realized that they had differing qualities, and each wanted the other either gone or to be given what the other had.

My favorite example is the insanity of college life. Although college life seems very structured and scheduled and well-advised, it takes an incredible amount of chaos-loaded effort to get it anywhere near that ordered, and even when the order is in place, it's pure chaos trying to keep up with that order. An example of trying to keep up with order would be 1984, when all of the people were trying so hard to abide by the rules lest they "mysteriously disappear," that they ended up practically being crazy. In fact, Winston was only able to keep track of anything by writing it down in a journal (secretly, of course."

As a Mainer, or "Maniac" according to many Massachusetts residences, I personally hate the majority of all Massachusetts drivers. For some reason, they have almost all decided that the rules of the road do not apply to them, and it's extremely frustrating to have to deal with them on the road without killing them. When I think of them now, they remind me of the replicas from Blade Runner, who were always in the way and breaking all of the rules trying to get what they want. Although Massachusetts drivers have no reason to be as desperately disobedient as the replicas, for some reason, they have decided to be little rebels and go nuts to get where they want to be.

Overall, my definition of order and chaos has not changed, but at the same time, what I believed in before is still reinforced by what we learned throughout the term, and I have seen that throughout history, the theory of order and chaos being intermixable has not changed.

April 5th Lecture

The lecture given by Professor Jacobson was not what I expected. The lecture was incredibly dry, and to be honest, I don't remember a single thing but that dizzying green laser.
There seemed to be a lot of chain graphs and equations in the lecture... I was not prepared with a calculator, so I really can't recall what that was all about. Looking back, I'm not sure what organization has to do with chaos, so I suppose if anything could have surprised me, that would have been it.

A Reflection on "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind"

Who am I?

I am a person who likes to sit back and watch things unfold, knowing that I can step in and take full control when I want to. I like to have a backup plan for everything, and I like to test things even wen I know deep down that it won't work. I'm looking for one word to sum myself up... frustrated. I'm extremely frustrated that I can't do the things that I want to do because I have to to work and go to school and that I can't break laws. If I want to go over a fence and climb some rocks at the beach, why can't I? I have a lot of things that I want to do, and I'm looking for the time to do them, and for people who have nothing better to do than to have fun. What I want out of life is good memories.

What is I?

"I" is how we identify ourselves by what separates us from the rest.

Is there a self that I can control?

There is a self that I can control, and I alone control that self. Although consequences have a direct influence on my decisions, I ultimately make all decisions.

How does the film start?
The film begins in the aftermath of what happened before the scene, but was a result of what happened in the rest of the movie. The first thing that the viewer sees is a seemingly innocent but weirdly eerie scene of a typical person's life. It is important for the viewer's to see the first so that they are interested in watching the rest of the movie to find out what is going on with these two people.

What is the central conflict of the film?
The central conflict of the film is when Clementine erases Joel from her memory, sparking his retaliation where he erases her from his own memory. I believe that it is both internal and external, because Clementine had an internal battle that led her to erase Joel from her memory, yet his actions had led her to dislike him in the first place. Joel internally suffered from Clementine's actions, but his suffering was caused by her, an external source.

Speech Components:

I belong to the Down East speech category, particularly southwestern Maine. People generally think of Mainers as having this awful speech pattern full of "ayuh" and "upta camp, bub!" Although this dialect exists all around me, I usually don't end my words with an "uh" sound. Fact: People from Maine cannot say words containing "oom." I don't say "boom" because it comes out weird. My roommate tells me that instead of "room," I say "rum," and I let out an "ayuh" every once in a while. This very moment, I was just picked on for saying "pupcorn."

Like a typical New Englander, I say very little about most things. It's not that we don't know what we're talking about, we just assume that by telling someone the key words, they'll get the rest.

Another thing: the word "wicked." If y'aint a Down Easta, don't botha tryin' t'use it deah, you'll sound wicked retahded. You need the right stresses. When used properly, "wicked" replaces the adverb "really"-- BUT, not in all cases. The most common case of "wicked" is used when describing really cold weather. "Holy smokes, it's wicked cold out, huh?" The other day, I heard a New Yorker declare that "wicked" was her new word and she completely butchered it. Furthermore, "She's wicked nice" is acceptable, whereas "She's wicked rude" is not.

Also, in Maine it's completely normal to just say "yep" and be done with your conversation. I can't tell you how many times at this school I've been given a look for only answering with one word. It's also hard for me to write long papers because my writing, like my speech, is so concise.

Here is a typical day:

The setting: the local minimart, in line, buying a hot cuppa joe and a whoopie pie.

The topic: the latest vehicle accident, how many points were on the last deer you killed, the outrageous price on the coffee (usually $1 for a large), or what kind of machinery you're trying to fix and sell.

The purpose: to catch up on the town's gossip. Everyone knows everything about everyone.

The key: Friendly chit-chat. What I love about home is that nobody is out to get each other. It's an extremely generous community, so there's hardly any conning, just friends catching up with each other. Very sincere.

The genre: small talk.

The responses, more small talk, are typical. It's hard to be inappropriate when people are so open that they treat all topics like casual conversation.

When referring to others, people use others' first names or their nicknames. Nobody says Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. People you don't know the names of would be referred to as something like, "Jeannie's daughter's boyfriend's kid," and people will know who you mean. The response would typically be, "Oh no ****, is that right? Huh!" It's nice how in my community, people aren't diminutive unless they're being completely honest. "The lady with the beard" isn't an insult, it's a description that people recognize.

A girl can be any age. A kid is anyone younger than yourself. To girls, a guy is a peer that you don't really know or respect. To a guy, a guy is a bud, or a guy. "Dude" does not exist.

Hard-working, honest men and women are respected the most. People with a ton of money, who don't help others, are usually somewhat rejected. Young kids are respected until they disrespect their elders. Hard-working teenagers are respected, whereas spoiled teenagers are the absolute worst. People will talk down to people who try to act like they should be from a better place... don't forget, everyone knows your secrets, so trying to be someone else isn't going to fly.

Overall, my community values hard work and honesty. The more you can live up to these things, the more people will say to you, and the more respect you will have.

I took the photo myself, I don't know how to cite it.

Songs About "Self"

I chose the song "Mix Tape" by Brand New. It's a song about a girl who can be anything but herself, and the guy is telling her to grow up and be herself.



Lacey, Jesse. "Mix Tape." Your Favorite Weapon. All Night Chemist. 2002.

The Brain Lecture

From the lecture, I learned that different parts of the brain control different bodily functions and that damaging parts of the brain affects the function it controls. I didn't really get what this had to do with "self" since it was entirely tangible, and though the people in the classroom video had brain damage, they were still the same people. Not being able to recognize what something is used for is a physical damage and does not change the person's individual characteristics.

Chart of Virtues/Reflection on "Self" Articles

The two articles each talked about developing one's "self," but they discussed different aspects of discovering and maintaining one's "self." Juhan's article talked about cleansing and maintaining one's "self" by reaping the benefits from our memories. He suggests that we should learn from our past mistakes.

Franklin's article talked about finding faults within ourselves and striving to eliminate them. I feel that a combination of the two methods might be successful, temporarily. I do not think that the "self" can be changed easily.

The following are my Virtues Chart and my Body Pains Chart.